I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
