Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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