he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
