I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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