just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
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I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'