But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.