i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.