She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"