Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen