I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
