you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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