i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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