Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
