I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
