I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
