Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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