the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
