Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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