Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
