Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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