is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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