I think my vagina is haunted
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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