We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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