giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I need to stop coming to work sober
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
