Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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