You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
