Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize