she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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