i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
