So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
