I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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