just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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