You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it hurts more in the daytime
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
