It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
