Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
