Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
