A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
