idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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