Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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