Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
