the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
