dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
