I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
