Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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