I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize