But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
