Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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