i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize