I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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