She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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