i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
