Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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