I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
