Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
