Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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