yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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