His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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